You Know You Are Primal When…


When are you Primal? It’s when you eat bacon and eggs for breakfast knowing that you are nourishing your body. It’s when you walk for miles and enjoy every moment. And it’s apparently when you catch a gator as shown below.

I started a thread in the MDA forum with this exact title. It has more than 90 pages worth of goodies. The following is what my sister views as her favorites amongst the first 50 pages.

View the forum thread here. Please leave a comment below with your own thoughts on how to finish the sentence. I’d love to get dozens of comments so feel free to keep coming back to this post and commenting daily if you wish!



  • When you decide that long walks are healthier than runs.


  • Nature programs make you hungry.

dr. bork bork

  • When you get angry at total strangers for buying non-Primal food at the grocery store.


  • When you spend a 3 day weekend completely barefoot, in shorts and occasionally wearing a shirt.
  • When you fly from Cairo Egypt to Houston Texas barefoot (and get nothing but positive comments on the way).
  • When you are out walking around and start playing with large rocks for exercise.
  • When the other people at work look at you funny because you are carrying around buckets of rocks (farmer’s carry).


  • When you eat more veggies each day then your vegetarian friend.

Primal Toad

  • When you walk into your favorite local restaurant where you live completely barefoot.
  • When your favorite meals contain at least three kinds of meat.
  • When you haven’t used shampoo in over 6 months!
  • You golf barefoot with 5 clubs and play the best 8 holes of your entire life.
  • When you tan extremely easily and never burn without putting on sunscreen of any kind.
  • When you walk 1.5 miles to Trader Joe’s to pick up some groceries of meat and veggies along with pistachios and macadamias and then walk back with the one bag and do bicep curls. It was a riot!


  • When your favorite meals contain at least three kinds of meat.
  • When, as you’re driving, you see fat people along the road and say to yourself (or your passenger), “that guy eats bread”.


  • When you eat the butter packets, instead of the bread they bring out at a restaurant.


  • The dating pool is decreased substantially.
  • You really miss peanut butter, pizza, donuts, sandwiches, chocolate cake, beer, pancakes but don’t really want to eat them.
  • You refer to Grok, Mark Sisson as actual friends of yours.

Diane the Purple

  • 72% chocolate is way too sweet and the 88% stuff is starting to taste kind of bland.


  • You post a picture of shredded pork, eggs over easy, fajita steak and pico de gallo for breakfast in Mexico, and have friends make heart attack comments. ¬†Friends that have gained 60 pounds sine you first met, while you’ve dropped 50…


  • When your purest moments of elation are in converting loved ones: my brother and mother went primal and paleo within 30 days of each other. today is my mom’s first day, go mom!


  • When you have to constantly resist to urge in grocery stores to scream at parents “why are you harming your children!!?” as they pile Kraft dinner and Oreos into their shopping cart.


  • When your kids say “I can’t believe it! Mom made green beans taste good!” And your husband says “Yea, she put pork fat on them”.


  • When a gorgeous young lady cooks you dinner ( spaghetti ) and you tell her your not hungry , then when you get home you cook a primal meal and send her a photo of it …..¬†lol…I did this tonight …..and she should have known better.


  • You are packing to drive to Primalcon and pack a cooler of primal food for road munchies and so you don’t have to go out the first night.
  • Homemade venison jerky (road food) hard boiled eggs olives marinated mushrooms (marinade becomes salad dressing) a box of salad greens sliced turkey breast macadamia nuts covered in dark chocolate (for dessert)
  • This is going to be a blast.


  • Buying meat at a farmer’s market or farm is primal enough, but you get extra points if you ask them if they have any big sacks of fat that you could render into tallow. Mmm, greasy.


  • When your doctor’s appt goes through lunch with a 1.5 hr wait and you don’t have time to eat, yet you’re more pissed about the time you’ll have to make up after 5 than you are about not eating lunch.
  • When the scene in Game of Thrones (both book and tv) where Dany ritualistically eats the raw heart to help her unborn son makes you wonder where in the freezer you hid the beef heart.


  • When you get really annoyed at yourself because you accidentally bought “lite” coconut milk.


  • When it’s totally normal for you to skip a morning meal and then eat breakfast at 1pm that consists of 4 strips of bacon and 5 strawberries.


  • You start to actually enjoy being looked at suspiciously for your VFFs, or for being a grown person playing on a jungle gym.
  • You log way fewer hours working out than any of your friends, but are in way better shape than all of them.
  • When you hear about a sale on organic berries at a grocery store 3 miles away, with a forecast of rain all afternoon and you think to yourself “Grok would have gotten wet” and walk instead of drive.
  • I used to work at a coffee shop, and if people asked for Fat Free Half and Half (there were a few) I just explained that no, we didn’t because it didn’t exist. When challenged by a customer (“I buy it at the store!”), I stood firm and told them that the product they were describing was not real Half and Half. Also, don’t get me started on the horrors of “creamer” – those tiny bottles they leave out that say “no refrigeration required”. That categorically means it’s not dairy, or if it is, something really horrifying has been done to it.


  • When you’re mother asks you how your cholesterol is and you suddenly go on a 10 minute rant about how we’ve been lied to from CW, and you don’t even notice when you’re mother left the room 5 minutes ago….


  • When you are shopping for coconut water and get irate when you find some only to read the label and see “sugar” listed as an ingredient.


  • When you wipe your ass with flint knapped ass wiping stones.
  • That you bought on the internet.


  • When the barber doesn’t notice that you haven’t used shampoo for a month.


  • When your stylist notices that your hair is thicker and your bald spot is filling in and asks what you’ve been doing and tell her eating more protein and fat and she says that everyone should be doing that.

Primal Krista

  • After a feast of carbs you feel awful, you have started blogging your Primal Journey, you find yourself experimenting with recipes, you are barefoot at least 80% of the time, you visit Primal blogs daily, have taken a few cold showers, run barefoot through the hills, and people look at you oddly when you describe your lifestyle….yup. I’m diggin’ this Primal way of life.


  • The first time my boyfriend found me in the kitchen preparing heart, he called me his “moon and stars.” I was tickled.

Now it’s YOUR turn! Complete the sentence yourself by leaving a comment below. Feel free to come back often!

Do you wish to receive updates via email?


  1. Bevie says

    When people think you are messing with them when you tell them your real age (I look younger since going primal than I did five years ago)

  2. Morghan says

    You’ve lost 50 pounds, have excellent cholesterol, your hair and nails are growing faster, thicker, and stronger, you’re always awake before the alarm rings.

    That’s from about 70% primal

  3. Laurel says

    You get pissed off at your in-laws for giving your son crackers
    When every opportunity you get you rant about how misled we have been and that the SAD diet is killing America.
    You eat butter and bacon religiously and LOVE to tell you friends how wonderful your cholesterol is… hmm, coincidence :)

  4. Elizagrok says

    These are so true for me! My hairdresser didn’t notice I had been no-poo for over two months, I always talk about Mark Sisson like I actually know him, I judge people by their shopping carts, especially parents! I tell passengers in my car that various pedestrians clearly eat bread. I feel bad for girls running around campus as I take my barefoot walk.
    A new one: When a child has too much energy in public places, I’ll tell my friend/mother/boyfriend that they’ve either had way too much sugar and carbohydrates, or that they have not been given enough time to play outside. It seems so obvious by looking at a child for less than 30 seconds which modern-day ailment they’re suffering from.

  5. Ann says

    - Your whole family complains that the smoothies you make are “not sweet enough”
    – Your mom is freaked out that you’ve been using sea salt instead of iodized salt because, you know, without that stuff we’ll get sick
    – Your brother sees you holding a stick of butter (after not seeing each other for years) and asks you if you still eat butter off the knife..
    – You go through all the recipes you printed a couple years ago and wonder what you were thinking back then. Mix some mashed potatoes with canned soup and low-fat yogurt and call it lunch? Most of the recipes ended up in the trash.