Do you find trouble eliminating all your poop in less than 5 minutes? Is it hard to come out to the point where you have to push, push, push as if you are producing a newborn baby?
In other words, are you constipated?
Toad to the rescue! I’ve been there. I’m incredibly lucky to say that I am no longer there. Even though I have been eating real food more often than not over the past 2 years, I’ve still suffered through constipation. That seems to finally be over. I’ve been constipation for free for over 2 months now.
It honestly all started when I first used the Squatty Potty.
Before you purchase one, I encourage you to read the following tips. You may not need one. However, squatting while pooping has been the greatest change I have made that has allowed me to consistently poop well.
Check out this graph too before you begin reading the tips. This can be extremely helpful! Shoot for a type 4. Learn more about this chart here.
Aim for type 4! The first 3 are signs of constipation.
1. Get butt naked from the waist down
Before you set your ass down on the ‘pot’ You automatically pull your pants or shorts down below your knees, right? Take it a step further and become butt naked from the waist down. This will send your body a message that it’s time to produce a bowel movement.
And, more importantly, having more freedom will enable you to…
2. Squat while you poop
The modern toilet is kicking your ass. It’s not designed for a smooth, non pushy poop. If you don’t want poop chilling in your colon then begin squatting. At the bare minimum, position yourself so you are closer to squatting than sitting.
You have some options…
1. Put your butt at the back of the toilet. Lift your knees up and place your feet at the front of the toilet if possible. You are now near a full squat. Congratulations!
2. Sit your ass on the toilet for a minute or so to let ‘it’ come out as it wants. If it does not all come out then step off the toilet and squat. Move around a bit while you are squatting. Remember to get naked too.
Once you can feel some poop moving through and wanting to come out then sit your ass back on the toilet.
3. Squat on the toilet. Place your feet on the toilet and, you guessed it, squat! This is the natural position folks. For thousands of years, and even in several smart countries around the world today, human beings squat while pooping. Sitting is not the natural position and is the main reason why folks have so many problems with pooping.
4. Find an object in your home that will just slide underneath your toilet. When you feel the need to poop, sit on the toilet normally but now place your feet on this object. You are not really squatting but you are in the squatting position. It works!
I’ve heard of some folks using a trash can. I’ve tried a leg rest but it did not work too well and was annoying. Thankfully someone has invented the…
5. Use the squatty potty. This thing works. I gave one away a couple of months ago and have sold about 12 since then. Humans who use the squatty potty are potentially saving their life! The squatty potty is designed to fit snugly underneath your toilet seat so it’s not in the way when you are not using it. When you have to poop you just slide it out a few inches and bam!
I love my squatty potty. Are you ready to own one?
Squatting is essential for healthy pooping. You have a number of options to choose from. Before you go ahead and spend $35 to $90 (for the bamboo one) on a squatty potty I do recommend you first try out the first 4 methods. Let me know how it goes!
3. Enjoy a few sips of coffee
I have no idea what it is in coffee, but if I don’t go as soon as I wake up I just have a few sips and I gotta go. My poop is not the healthiest when it’s followed up by these sips of coffee but it does come out. It’s not terrible but nothing like a type 4 (see chart above).
I encourage folks to ditch coffee. If you can’t go a week without it then you are addicted to it and probably lacking sleep. Make a full cup, enjoy a quarter of it, then store the rest in your refrigerator to make a Peppermint Mocha smoothie the following morning!
4. Go to bed you dumbass (pun intended!)
I don’t think I need to elaborate much here (but I guess I did!). Without proper sleep you will never have optimal health. There is no way around this. I’ve been sick one time in the past 7 years (the past 2.6 years have been sick free) and there is no doubt that a huge reason is because I sleep like a baby most of the time. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember (unfortunately this has changed as of late due to my extreme excitement for life).
For near perfect bowel movements, ya need to sleep friend. Take baby steps. How many hours do you sleep now on average? Add 1 minute. Go to bed 1 minute earlier tonight. You can do this, right? Go to bed 1 more minute earlier the next night. Continue to add 1 minute unless you think you can add 2 or more.
Simplify your life. Stop watching TV every single night (it is doing NOTHING for you!).
If you want to eliminate the waste that is accumulating inside of you then you need to go to bed! So, which is it? Another episode of Family Guy or feeling awesome so you can do the impossible? (It’s a very difficult choice I know).
5. Get off your ass
Another huge reason why we fail to poop properly is because we sit on our ass all day. This does have a direct effect on constipation. I have no statistics to back my thoughts up but why not just think about it? Then let me know your thoughts by leaving a comment below.
Walk more. Do 3 push-ups. Maybe 30. Do some bodyweight squats. Lunges. Either do this in your office, outside or wherever. If you have more than a dozen co-workers then I guarantee you at least one other person would love to join you in this crazy but extremely fun change.
If you already move more then this tip won’t help. However, the majority who are reading this post don’t move as much as they should. Get off your ass and start moving!
Are you up for a challenge to walk to Mordor? I’m going to win.
That’s it for now friends. If you are constipated then please try one of these tips. Then try another. One at a time. Taking baby steps will help! I do have many more tips up my sleeve including what you should and should not be eating. What you eat is huge when it comes to pooping. Aside from diet, you need to start squatting.
Do you have more poop tips on how to eliminate constipation? If you do, leave a comment below. You just may save someone’s life. If you are having trouble, what are your questions? Either let us know with a comment or feel free to shoot me an email too.
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